All I wanted to do was just hang out here on weekends, just to unwind and chill out— watch a dog get neutered, a kitten take a pill. Maybe see a hamster get thrown in the trash. Then one day this guy said, Hey, wanna try something wild? Well, he took me to a different animal hospital, a much more intense one, and it. Was. A RUSH. Have you ever seen a rhino get a tonsillectomy? Ever seen a giraffe hooked up to a dialysis machine? Man, it’s like nothing else. Now I need more and more and I’m out of control. I’m watching crocodiles get skin tags removed like 5, 6 times a day. Oops! Somehow I died from this? Now I’m in heaven with all the trash-can hamsters! LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES, KIDS!
